Tell Me Again, Can You Balance Lovers and Friends?

April 19, 2017 0 Comments

*cues music* “I’s been knowing ya for a long time, shawwwwwty!” (if you are laying atop a pile of confusion right now, see 2000s hit Lovers and Friends)

It happens to the best of us. I’ve lost friends to relationships and I still have a hard time grasping that.  If I’ve seen it once, I’ve seen it a million times. Friends are tight as hell (or thick as thieves, whichever cliché line you prefer) and the minute one hops into a relationship he or she falls off the face of the Earth. The relationship then either lasts an extremely long while with not many friends to share it with or the relationship ends (as they often times do) only for said friend to seek out those friends who refuse to welcome them back immediately with open arms. It’s a lose-lose situation if you ask me.

I think one of the hardest things for people to do is manage a healthy relationship with a significant other while keeping friendships in tact as well. As humans, we become so enamored with our significant other’s presence that the presence of other people seems to not matter anymore. But it does. People think that spending all twenty-four hours of the day with their mate is going to keep the relationship strong; however, it doesn’t. Quality time with friends is just as important as time well spent with your lover. We all need an interpersonal relationship or three that is not intimate. Stepping outside of your relationship for various conversations and experiences is greatly appreciated and much needed.

Today’s Keyword: equipoise |ˈekwəˌpoiz| (n.): balance of forces or interests

While love is a beautiful thing, there is more to life than being smothered up under your lover every day of your life. Don’t let the wrong friends slip away because your relationship swallowed all of your time. And I get it. Sometimes it happens accidentally. The minute you notice the changes around you, fix it. Plan trips and visit from time to time. Time management is key. Communication and understanding must be dished out from both sides. If you are having this type of trouble, don’t hesitate to let your friend know how you’ve been feeling slightly neglected. Sure enough, they probably don’t even realize it. And to my people in relationships, remember your friends were there long before and without a doubt will be there long after. Give them a call and try to make this balancing act work. It definitely can.

Stop canceling on me,