“She made a promise to herself to hold her own well-being sacred.”- Unknown
Lit. A word that by Webster’s definition is simply short for literature, but by Urban dictionary’s list means a variety of things. For the sake of this blog though, we turn our attention to #7, “something that is *expletive* amazing in any sense” (they said it Ma, not me). Yeah, that’s the one we will rock with.
Living alone has given me an opportunity to explore who I am as a person, a young woman, a creative. After nights of discovery, what were my findings? Well in summary, I noticed my wellness had been experiencing some imbalance for quite some time. My physical, emotional, and mental spaces were overcrowded and I wanted a clear space. My self-care was far from lit.
Here’s what went wrong:
I was over thinking. The thought of analyzing something once just didn’t seem feasible. Eight or nine more times of weighing out all possible negative options was more like it. Was that bomb threat in downtown this morning real? Turning back to the house three times to make sure the stove was off or the door was locked just made more sense, until I would pull up to the job barely beating the clock. I was so concerned with outrageous thoughts bouncing through my head, that the anxiety of stepping outside my house became unreal and began to affect my overall mood.
I was self-destructing. There was homework to be done. Meals to prep. A boyfriend miles away to talk to and family to catch up with when the time allotted. There seemed to be no time to leisurely read for even thirty minutes because papers needed to be graded. Gas needed pumping. Hair needed twisting. There was not enough hours in the day for myself. Sorry Ki, Schedule booked for the day. Try again tomorrow.
I was losing sight of my passion. I teach students how to read and write. Two things both near and dear to my heart. But to teach that to souls unable to love it as much as I, can be painful. No lie, it makes you rethink somethings every now and again. Not only that, but as a dancer, I’ve been taking more action and doing less talking. I have gone for two big auditions post-grad, but to no avail. Where was my happiness hiding in all of this?
I was being unappreciative. I was too busy sulking about the saggy butt area of my jeans that I overlooked my hair growing. I was so focused on the not so great parts of my life, that I forgot to love on the awesomeness my life did come with. Hell, even being alive and breathing the air I breathe was enough in itself to be thankful for. But noooo, I want
As you can see I was doing everything but keeping my well-being sacred.
Today’s Keyword: self-indulgent (adj.): indulging one’s own desires, passions, whims, etc., especially without restraint.
While some of those things were short-lived and others are still being explored in pursuit of change, I knew I had to start somewhere. The best place was within. Here are the five things I have prioritized to my life to take care of me:
- meditation. Although I am still getting the hang of it, it gives me an overall refreshing feeling to start each day
- inspirational quotes, prayer, and scriptures every morning. The app Saved in the City has been a great addition to items on my phone and praying with a more sincere heart like Pastor mentioned two Sundays ago has been quite fulfilling
- positive energy and positive people in my life to both uplift and support This was a tough one because some of the people I was clinging onto for dear life, were some of the most negative energies
- getting to know myself more and loving me. I’ve been in this body for two decades and then some and I’m just coming to terms with who I am as a person. Y’all, it feels so good.
- choosing happiness above all else I choose to keep some of my energy for myself and not give it all away to the people and duties I come in contact with throughout the day. I grade less at home and read much more. Cutting my phone on Do not Disturb and listening to neo soul is nirvana and laughing through the pain really works!
With the crazy world we live in and the different people and problems we face on a daily, we all deserve the right to be a little selfish from time to time. To take some time to indulge in some alone time and simply reflect and unwind. If you haven’t started putting you first, now is the time. Make you a priority. And hey, if you have already, what are some things in your daily routine promoting your self-care? Be sure to comment below!
Until next time, take care…