and I’m finally serious about my shxt.

“Remember our rule of thumb: The more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it.” Steven Pressfield, The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks & Win Your Inner Creative Battle

 

Hi, I’m Kiandra. And I’m a.. well, how do I say this…I’m an addict…

… to creativity.

The vulnerability, the uproar, the emotions, the truth, the opportunity to give life to something new and enlightening. Creating gives me this natural inebriation, it’s so bad that it has reached a point that I think I need help.

The feeling is… well, SENSATIONAL. *Future voice*

However, Im scared . For the first time in my life, I’ll admit it. I’m afraid to reach my goals and actually fail.

Since I was a little girl my dream jobs have included dancing for a big-time professional company, making it to Broadway, hitting the cover for Vogue once or twice, publishing a book of poems, and writing for Seventeen magazine. Does it make sense now? Hmm.. writer+dancer = scared.

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In college I majored in one of those what-are-you-going-to-do-with-that degrees, Creative Writing.  Now don’t get it twisted, I wasn’t born that courageous.  I went into school majoring in Exercise Science. I convinced myself that I wanted to be a Physical Therapist, because “I love sports and dance so it’s right up my ally to heal them”. But I hated it, and deep down I knew that I was only doing it to please everyone else around me. I didn’t want to let anyone down.

Luckily, I got this C in a class that kicked me out of the program (a C?! yes. childish, they were)  and while many thought it was a crappy predicament that forced me to settle, looking back on it, it actually was a opportunity to finally live for me. I am an advocate of the Arts. The underdogs that people look to as making no money and small contributors to our world. The foolish ones who go out on a limb and share their deepest moments with everyone through words, pictures, and motions. As crazy as it sounded, I wanted to be them. I was them.

The beauty of art is that there is no right or wrong. Just creation. I’m not pushing to be Beyonce famous, but I want all of my works to be inspirational. Enlightening. Healing. But that’s such a big reality that seems hard to live up to.

Today’s Keyword: Bohemian |bōˈhēmēən| (n.)

a person who has informal and unconventional social habits, especially an artist or writer 

Anyone that truly knows me knows that I love musicals and my favorite is RENT. Since the 6th grade it has been one of my most cherished possessions and simply because it gave me hope. Creators are the spice of life and it takes a brave soul to even pursue such notions. There is a song in the musical, “La Vie Boheme”, that pays homage to some of the greatest artists and artistic trends of all time. In the terms of this movie, Bohemia is a lifestyle in which people live for their art and by it. At one  point I was too afraid to do that, but now  in my works, I am fully immersed.

Honestly, I couldn’t even tell you my true purpose in sharing this one with you all this week, but I needed to get this off my chest. To all of my creative minds, whether you be a writer, dancer, painter, designer, keep going. Don’t let fear be the determining factor of a dream deferred. Your soul is beautiful. Be bold and share it with the world. It feels good to say my soul is free. Once you become addicted to creation, it’s hard to go back.

 

Viva la vie Bohème,

Ki.

February 25, 2016
March 9, 2016

1 Comment

  1. Reply

    queenrrp

    March 7, 2016

    As usual you have enlightened me…I have taught you well grasshopper…lol

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